I'm becoming increasing nervous about finishing up my graduate work. There seems to be too many ideas that don't connect to one another to be deemed my personal 'body of work'. I'm going to have to work on that. I don't want my choreographic work to suffer simply because I'm forced into putting more attention on my professional paper. It's become a challenge to relate all the components that I will be presenting in my final presentation at the end of year 3. The last 2 dance works I've choreographed were, in my mind, successful for various reasons but I don't feel I have a good video representation of the work in order to make a professional-looking demo reel. How do I rectify that? By doing the video work myself? Hiring someone? That may have to happen. It's frustrating to realize that, like everything else in my life, I am required to do everything myself if I want it done right. For someone who values collaborative processes and feels that relationships are the most valuable asset emerging from dance work, it irritates me that I am constantly stuck doing work over again because it was not done well the first time. This is a self-indulgent rant, mind you, and I'm sure I will get over it by tomorrow. I'm just frustrated.